Unsteady in Love: Fairlane Series #3 Read online

  How had I gotten myself into this mess? I didn’t want to see Holden again, let alone have dinner with him. But those damn puppy dog eyes did me in. Whenever he had wanted to get his way and I had disagreed, which hadn’t been often, Holden had always known how to get me to cave.

  I didn’t know what he thought we had to talk about. I’d listened to what he had to say, and I did understand that he’d thought he was doing what was best for us, but it still didn’t make it hurt any less after all these years. I’d thought of his mom and dad as family and it broke my heart all over again to learn they had wanted Holden to marry someone else and that they’d probably been planning it since his grandfather died.

  I paced from the living room into the kitchen and back, and each time I couldn’t help but look over and see all the bills that were piled up on the table. My interviews had gone well, but no one was hiring in my small town, and I wasn’t sure if I could afford to commute to Riverside or any of the other surrounding cities. It didn’t matter if I could afford it because if I didn’t get a job and soon, I was going to be homeless. Tomorrow I would look into expanding my search, and I wouldn’t stop until I was employed.

  The sharp knock on the door broke me out of my musings. Taking in a deep breath, I tried to clear my mind of being out of a job and all the money I now owed. No longer would I have my dad’s disability check to help pay for all the medical bills.

  Opening the door, I was shocked to see Holden in a black button-down shirt and dark jeans. He looked nice. Beyond nice, but I didn’t want to think about how hot he was and the man he’d become.

  “Are you ready?” he asked a little gruffly.

  “Yeah, let me get my purse and lock up. Where are we going?”

  “Wherever you suggest.”

  “Oh, well, I don’t know. I can’t remember the last time I went out to dinner. Hmmm…” It had been so long since I’d had extra money for such an expense. Not that I had any now, but I couldn’t say no to those damn eyes. “My neighbor Alex, you met her boyfriend the other day—”

  “Good neighbors to have. Looking out for you.” He nodded, ushering me down the steps to his car.

  “Actually, she moved.” And it sucked. Alex was my only friend, and now that we weren’t neighbors anymore, I wasn’t sure when I’d see her. “Anyhow, she loves this Italian restaurant, so we could go there. She always raved about it and tried to get me to go with her a couple of times.”

  “Give me directions. I’ve been here a couple of days, but I still don’t know my way around.” His brows pinched together. “Did your neighbor move far away?”

  Putting my seatbelt on, I gave him directions. My town was small, so we had to go to a nearby town to eat, but it wasn’t far. “I’m not really sure where she moved to, but Fairlane isn’t too big, so she can’t be that far. But she isn’t next door anymore.”

  Sitting so close to him was distracting. He smelled like home. The aroma of spice and warmth. But then I remembered; he wasn’t home. Holden was nothing to me and never would be again.

  “Turn here?” I confirmed it was the right turn. “Is she a good friend?” he asked, looking over at me.

  “My only friend really, but yeah she’s a good friend. Her little boy is so cute and sweet.” I smiled thinking of Mason’s adorable face. “I’m glad she’s got Luke now, and with her no longer being my neighbor, that means no more of hearing her ex-husband yelling outside her house.”

  Holden grunted beside me. I had no idea what it meant, and I didn’t really care. I hated how easy it was for me to talk to him. There was no point in opening up to him. I needed to remember how he had left me and was leaving again in a matter of days. We were quiet for the rest of the short ride to the restaurant. I was excited to try the food that Alex had been raving about since it opened.

  Once seated, there was an awkwardness in the air. Neither one of us knew what to talk about. I didn’t want to talk about the past. To bring up the old hurt. And I had nothing to speak about for the future either. Luckily, a waitress brought fresh bread and butter to the table and asked what we wanted to drink. I didn’t miss the way her eyes hooded as she took Holden in. He didn’t even spare her a glance as he ordered a water and continued to peruse the menu.

  “Did you know there’s only one hotel in your town?” Holden asked as he set his menu down and buttered up his bread.

  “Most people stay a couple of towns over in Riverside. We don’t get many tourists here.”

  “Why’d you move here?” His eyes gleamed with curiosity from across the table.

  Did I want to tell him the truth? No, I didn’t, but I knew he would be able to tell if I was lying.

  Picking up my menu to hide behind, I read over their amazing selections. It was almost impossible to pick only one thing to eat. Everything sounded good, making my stomach rumble. It had been too long since I’d had a decent meal. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and peeked over the menu to find Holden watching me.

  “It was too hard to stay in Oak Park. Everything reminded me of you, and when all I did was cry, my dad suggested we move. I applied to schools in Missouri, and after I was accepted to one in Riverside, we relocated to Fairlane.”

  I continued to look over the menu to avoid looking at Holden. It wasn’t until his hand covered mine that I dropped the menu and pulled my hand back, cradling it to my chest as if he’d wounded me with just his touch.

  But hadn’t he?

  “I’m sorry, Prue.” He closed his eyes, and I could see the pain strain his rugged face.

  “After graduation, my life changed in so many ways.” I shook my head at everything I’d gone through. “You broke me. Shattered my heart into a million and one pieces to never be put back together again. And then,” I closed my eyes as my chin trembled, “a week later we found out that my dad had lung cancer. Can you believe that? Never smoked a day in his life, and he got fucking lung cancer.”

  “He didn’t deserve to get cancer.” Holden’s eyes turned sad. “If I could turn back time, I would have never left. I would have been there for you and your dad and helped you.”

  “But you did leave, Holden. You left, only to show up at my father’s funeral. I needed you and you were gone.” I couldn’t keep the hurt from my tone.

  “I—”

  The waitress, who only had eyes for him, interrupted him. I wasn’t sure if she even knew I was there until Holden motioned to me. His deep brown eyes filled with sorrow. He cleared his throat and nodded toward me. “Prue, you first.”

  I’d barely completed my order when the waitress pressed her ample chest up against his arm. What the hell?

  “I’m going to go use the restroom and give you two a moment.” I was unsure if I hid the jealousy that was running rampant through my veins, but in that moment I didn’t care. I needed to get away.

  Briskly walking to the bathroom, I threw open the door and leaned against the sink. I had to remind myself that I didn’t care if women threw themselves at Holden or if he was interested in them. That ship had sailed a long time ago.

  Splashing some cool water on my face made me feel slightly better and helped clear my mind of stupid thoughts about Holden. Still, I walked back to our table slowly, in no rush to have to sit across from the man I’d once loved or to see the waitress blatantly flirting with him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked the moment I sat down across from him in our booth.

  “Fine. Why do you ask?” I feigned ignorance of what he could possibly be talking about.

  “You were gone…never mind. How’d the job interviews go today?”

  “Ugh,” I blew out a frustrated breath. “The interviews were fine, but none of them are hiring. They said they’d put me on their list and call if there was an opening. I guess I’m going to have to expand my search to other towns around the area.”

  “And you don’t want to do that?” His brows furrowed in confusion.

  I didn’t want to explain to him why I didn’t want to get a job e
lsewhere.

  “And don’t lie to me either,” he narrowed his eyes at me.

  “Fine,” I huffed. “I can’t afford the gas to commute. I’ll probably have to sell the house to pay off some of the medical bills, so I guess it doesn’t matter where I find a job since I’ll have to move anyway.”

  There was a part of me that wanted to move to get away from the memories of my dad. In every room, there were memories that felt as if I might buckle underneath the pain of missing him. But I was afraid if I left, I’d eventually forget him.

  “Here you go.” The waitress set our food down in front of us. I swear she had undone a couple of buttons on her shirt to show off more cleavage. “If you need anything else don’t be shy to ask.”

  I didn’t care how good the food was, I didn’t think I’d ever be coming back. I rolled my eyes and dipped one of the fried zucchini sticks into the marinara before taking a bite.

  “Mmmm,” I groaned. It was amazing. The sauce was just the right amount of sweet and tangy and the zucchini was crispy. I wanted to gobble them all down before Holden could get his hands on them.

  “Good?” he asked on a chuckle.

  “So good. I was thinking I’d never come back, but damn I don’t think I could ever give these up. I don’t know how Alex brings Luke here. Maybe he goes incognito or something because I can’t imagine her enjoying herself if the waitresses all throw themselves at him.”

  His brows knit. “Did you not want to come back because of the flirty waitress?”

  “Flirting is an understatement. She acted like it’s her job to throw herself at good looking men.” I shook my head in disgust until I took another bite of zucchini goodness.

  “Why would your neighbor's boyfriend need to come incognito?” he asked before he took a bite of the fried zucchini. “Damn, this is good.” He dunked his piece in the sauce again.

  “I know, right! Don’t eat any more of them because I want them all for myself.” I laughed before pulling the plate closer to me and taking another bite.

  “How about I get us another order?”

  Oh, I was sure the waitress would love to come back and all but sit in his lap. Instead of saying that, I deflected. “If you want more, you probably should.”

  “I definitely want more,” he said with so much conviction in his voice I was sure he couldn’t be talking about the food anymore.

  Taking another bite, I chewed and chewed and chewed. I hated that I was jealous and still attracted to Holden. I needed to get a handle on my feelings. I didn’t want to get hurt again when he left in a few days.

  “So, your neighbor's boyfriend?” he prompted.

  “Luke, right. He’s on some super popular show on H@T and has done a few movies. We haven’t had cable in forever, and I can’t remember the last time I went to see a movie, so I didn’t know who he was until he introduced himself. I should have had Alex show me a picture. Not only is he famous, but he’s hot as hell. I don’t know how she handles all the women who throw themselves at him. Especially with the long distance.”

  “He doesn’t live here?”

  “Not right now. He lives in LA where he shoots his show, but I guess he’ll be moving here this summer.”

  “It’s pretty cool that you know a movie star,” he grumbled. It was obvious he didn’t think it was cool at all.

  “I don’t really know him. The other day was the first time I met him. I only know what Alex has told me, but she is head over heels in love with him.” I sighed wistfully. One day, I wanted what Alex and Luke had. I didn’t want to be alone forever.

  Taking a bite out of my chicken parmigiana, I closed my eyes. Damn, this place made good food. Now I knew why Alex came as often as she did. I could eat this every day.

  “I want you to marry me,” Holden blurted out of nowhere.

  5

  PRUE

  Wait! What?

  I coughed and choked on my food almost spitting it across the table. “What?” I gasped out. Surely, I’d heard him wrong.

  “I want you to marry me.”

  “Are you out of your mind?” I sputtered. “Did you get hit by something radioactive while you’ve been gone?”

  “No,” he laughed. “Just hear me out. I think I have a solution to both our problems.”

  Oh, how romantic.

  “Don’t give me that look. Listen, I saw the bills yesterday. I know you’re drowning in debt, and I also know that I’m not your favorite person right now, but if we got married, then I could get my inheritance and pay off all your debt. I’ll let you buy any house of your choosing, and then when we get divorced, you can have the house.” He shrugged.

  He fucking shrugged. Hey, let’s get married and divorced. How lovely.

  “Divorced?” I asked with a curl of my upper lip.

  “Stay married to me for two years. When I get out of the military and come home, you can file for divorce. You get the house, and I don’t know…” He shrugged. Again. “A million dollars for your trouble.”

  How much money was he getting from this inheritance of his?

  “That’s a lot, Holden. If you want your money, surely you can find someone who will marry you and agree to those terms. You don’t need me.”

  “But I want you. I want to help you. I need to help you after what I put you through. You deserve it.”

  The sincerity that radiated off him blew my mind away. Holden was serious. He wanted to marry me, pay off my debt, buy me a house, and give me a million dollars. And in two years get divorced.

  “You won’t have to work if you don’t want to. I’ll pay all the bills. What more can you ask for?”

  I want the first time a man asks me to marry him to be for love and not money. To be married for love and not convenience.

  “Holden,” I choked out his name trying my best not to cry. “How many times do you plan on getting married? You should marry for love, not to get your money.”

  Holden’s face turned to stone, but he couldn’t hide the emotion that played out in his eyes. Before I could try to read what he could possibly be feeling, Holden leaned back, and his face fell back into shadow.

  “Let me do this for you. I’ll be out of your hair in a couple of days and won’t be back for almost a year.”

  “You would want to do this before you leave?” I shrieked and then clamped my mouth closed when everyone in the restaurant turned to look at me. “Sorry. Carry on,” I dismissed them, blushing.

  “If we wait until I get back, it wouldn’t help you,” he said as calmly as if he were discussing the weather.

  “What about your parents? Can’t they contest your inheritance if you marry me?” I stuttered out, grasping at straws.

  “I haven’t spoken to my family since I left after graduation. I’ll admit if I had talked to a lawyer back then about what they were threatening about my inheritance, I would have found out everything they said was invalid. They knew it, but they were trying to scare me.” He leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table. “The one thing they weren’t lying about was getting your scholarship revoked. They would have done it. I have no doubt. I only wish I knew then what I know now. All of this could have been avoided.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I rasped out.

  “Say yes,” his eyes begged.

  “I’d ask for time to think about it, but you don’t have time.”

  “We can go to the courthouse tomorrow,” he stated as if he had it all planned out. “Prue, I want to make up for leaving you. Let me do this. I’m hoping with time, you’ll forgive me, and we can be friends.”

  I pointed at him, and if he’d been standing in front of me, I would have poked him in the chest. Hard. “You’re lucky I’m even talking to you.”

  “I know, Prue. I know. Don’t think that’s gone unnoticed. You’re probably in shock, but I’m going to take advantage.” He frowned. “I want to help you. When I get my inheritance, what I’m offering will be a drop in the bucket. We can sign the papers after we’re
married and within a month, all your bills will be paid off, and you could be in a new house.”

  “This feels wrong,” I said on a sigh.

  “Because you hate asking for help, and you feel like it’s charity. Trust me, it’s nothing like that. Think of it as helping me get my inheritance and the benefits you’ll get for helping me.”

  Shaking my head, a faint smile ghosted across my face. “You have plenty of time to find someone to marry you once you get back. To find love. You don’t need me.”

  “I do need you because I know and trust you.” There was something in his look that told me there was more to it, but he wouldn’t tell me no matter how hard I tried. “I’ll give you until morning to think about it. I’ll pick you up around ten.”

  “I haven’t agreed.”

  “Yet. You haven’t agreed yet.”

  6

  HOLDEN

  Prue fidgeted in her seat as I drove us to the courthouse. We hadn’t spoken when I picked her up. Instead, she’d been waiting by the door, ready to bolt out of the house when I showed up. I knew she had something to say but hadn’t worked up the nerve yet.

  Was she going to back out?

  “Don’t you think I should sign a prenup?” she croaked out, her throat raw.

  Stunned, I briefly looked over at her. “I trust you.”

  “You don’t know me anymore. The Prue you once knew is gone.” She rested her forehead against the window, staring out. “That should be obvious because the old Prue never would have done this.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but I could hear the hurt and sadness.

  My heart lurched in my chest hearing the sadness in her voice. She didn’t want to marry me. Hell, she didn’t even want to be in the car with me. But I needed her tied to me, otherwise Prue would drop out of my life once I was deployed and I’d likely never see or hear from her again.

  “I don’t think you’re that different. Neither of us are deep down where it matters.”

  “You certainly look different. I hardly recognized you when you came up to me in the parking lot,” she muttered.